Results Show - 2
Thursday, March 01, 2007
All right. Better late than never. Rehearsal is over for me, the Idol results show awaits on DVR, and I dread the re-emergence of The Pickler. Let's get right to it.
All the remaining Idols are standing together, clumped on the stage. "Who is OUT?" queries Ryan. Legs shake, lips quiver. Cut to the intro music!! Yay!! Now all the Idols are arrayed on the stairs, trailing to the stage. Oh no... They're pimping The Pickler. Ugh. We meet the judges, who are alarmingly monochromatic. Over 32 million votes were logged this week. We now run to the recaps of the performances. We hear how the guys stepped up their games. We relive some of the boy performances I loved, and many I didn't care for. Such is the nature of the Results show. It seems kind of mean to re-beat the ones you verbally beat earlier in the week. Just sayin'. Now we're on to the women, same basic idea. Relive the good, the mediocre, and the ugly. We get to hear Simon referred to as Mr. Fashion Police, which is mildly amusing. We hear the wonderful girls, and some of the really poopy girls. There's Nakedella, whom Dave White refers to as "Meadow Soprano". Heh. We get to see Nekedella mouthing off, and it's just as annoying and bitchy as the first time she did it. We end with the shining best, Melinda Doolittle. Excellent. I could listen to that OVER and OVER. Click to go to the extended entry.
But HOW did the VOTES go DOWN??!
Oh no. Horrible Group Sing. Joy To The World is the choice this week. Sundance starts it off. His hair's funny. There's Jared. His shirt's funny. Now we're at the chorus. Stephanie and Leslie handle a few solo lines. Then Chris Sligh!! And Chris Richardon!! And Nick and Sabrina! And Haley and Jordin!. Here's AJ, all solo and whatnot. And Brandon, sounding like he belongs there. I hope he's safe tonight. Lakisha belts while walking forward with Gina, who sounds good in this song. Now they're ALL ON STAGE!! Yay!! Sabrina makes Nakedella look like an amateur when they're paired. Funny. Melinda belts, they all clap, they all look hapy and perky and winnerish. Yet in under an hour four dreams will be CRUSHED underfoot.
Commercial Break time.
And. We. Are. Back. FOUR people leaving us tonight. I'm trying to do seating math and get a clue - not happening, ecept that the back row of boys looks to be safe while the front row contains most of my lowest performers. We go one by one.
Phil: SAFE!
Chris S: SAFE!
Sundance: SAFE!
Blake: SAFE!
Jared: SAFE! (They really tortured him this week)
Nick: OUT
I'm totally not surprised. I called it in my predictions, so I'm right so far, but there are three to go. Simon things he's a good singer but he didn't stand out in the crowd, and I really think he's right on this one. When I made my picks, I made them based on who I thought people would remember.
And thus continues the practice of letting booted singers sing the song that everyone hated enough to boot them. Cruel, but oddly amusing. Nick sounds good singing this, and honestly, reading into him, I think he wasn't surprised. He crawls on his knees tonight and I don't remember him doing that on Tuesday night - maybe he should have?? Now Nick walks and pimp-shakes hand with each boy Idol. I know that there are four very nervous boys left right now, though - AJ, Sanajaya, Brandon, and Chris R. Aw... Sundance is crying. :-( I guess Nick's not big enough to be a bodyguard. ;-) Commercial.
And we're back. We're reminded Nick bit the dust, and now we're to the very nervous looking girls. Ryan talks to Jordin, who's in the LAST seat (lower right) and looks like she's going to puke. One by one, with short judging recaps, here we go:
Stephanie: SAFE!
Gina: SAFE!
Sabrina: SAFE!
Melinda: SAFE!
Alaina: OUT!
Total non-shocker. It's about time, too. Put that girl out of HER misery and put her out of OUR misery. Alaina copped an attitude after getting booted, referring to Simon's comment as "clever". You get the feeling Alaina feels like she simply wasn't given a fair shake, as opposed to the fact that she doesn't measure up to the other competitors. She can't really sing while crying, and I can sympathize with that honestly. The girls come out and hug her and we hear the background singers and no Alaina singers. It looks like she's done singing. That's truly a first I think. Oh wait - she's back for the bridge and she pulls it together a bit and sings. Sort of. You'd think that NOW she would be mad enough to pull this song off, but she's too busy crying to convey a sense of fury. She's a nice girl - I'm glad I won't have to listen to her any more. Paula encourages her, adn that's it for the advice portion for the bootee. Commercial. Oh and - so far I'm still right. 2 down, 2 to go.
I wish they would stop harshing my mellow by referring to The Pickler and threatening me with her performance. Now it's the AMERICAN IDOL CHALLENGE! $10K is the prize, with a trip to Hollywood. Grand prize, $100K and tix to the finale (I went to last season's finale - it's TOTALLY worth it). The answer, folks, is B. And with that, I've voted and it's back to the recap.
OH NO. It's The Pickler. I'll admit - I couldn't stand her and her fake "GAWLEE" during last season. Did she have her boobs enlarged? She is ALL boob tonight. A giant, blonde boob. I have to be honest, folks, she looks a bit like a hooker, that you'd find in some small southern town. They do a stupid food jokes, and we'll hear a song she co-wrote (barf) called I Wonder. Can I write the lyrics? "I wonderrrrr.... Why they put this girl back on the show... I wonderrrrrr... Why they think she can sing..." Something like that. Her voice is as annoyingly cornpone as it always was, and I'm literally going to fast-forward through the rest of it. It can't get any better. DVR is a beautiful thing, because I didn't have to sit through that.
And we're back. Just enough time to clear the blood from my Pickler-bleeding ears. We are reminded that Alaina and Nick sucked enough to be booted, and that two others sucked as much as well and are gone. Front row of guys.
Chris R.: SAFE!
Brandon: SAFE! (Whew - was worried for him)
Sanjaya: SAFE!
AJ: OUT
That's just wrong. AJ just got sacrificed on the altar of the sympathy vote that Sanjaya got. Jeez Louise. Paula doesn't feel tonight reflects that this is a singing competition. Randy agrees, thought AJ was great and doesn't think America got it right. When it comes to AJ and Sanjaya I totally agree, frankly. You can't even compare the two performances. AJ sings the Last Song of Shame, and he sounds good and he looks good. Sundance is crying again, and so his Melinda.
WTF, America? Is it worth it because you feel badly for Sanjaya that you just threw this talented kid to the wolves? AJ wasn't my favorite boy, but he deserved to stick around. This annoys me, because it's the same type of mentality that will keep Antonella (Nakedella) on the show as well. This ain't high school, folks, and it's not a popularity contest - it's a singing contest. ((sigh)) Commercial. I'll just fume.
Now one more girl has got to go.
Lakisha: SAFE!
Haley: SAFE!! (Shocker?)
Antonella: SAFE! (Ridiculous)
Leslie: OUT!
Jordin: SAFE!
Damn I'm getting good at this. I missed the AJ call, but all the rest I got dead to rights. Leslie looks really upset about this and slightly pissed. Simon doesn't think the right people have gone tonight and he encourages America to vote. Leslie REALLY looks like she's going to puke. WE now get tortured with their group bootee package.
Nick, Leslie, AJ, Alaina. Daughtry angsts that he's "going home", as are our bootees. We see their meteoric rise, all while knowing that they just bit the freakin' dust. And now we're back to Leslie, who has to sing. She doesn't look any more substantively pulled together, frankly. How can you not know when you're going to tank like that and be prepared for it? She's on the verge of tears and you can hear it in her voice.
Snaps to whoever it was at MJs Big Blog who said that it would be totally ironic if AJ AND Leslie went tonight given that they did the same song. Ding ding! We have a winner. And the girls come out and join her, and that's all we got for results.
I'll post a bit over the weekend, perhaps tomorrow as well, but I'll see everyone Tuesday for the Boys! Sure hope Brandon gets a clue and redeems himself - if he doesn't, I don't see him surviving another week.
Labels: American Idol, Boys, Girls, Results, Round 2, Semi-Finals
posted by RenaRF @ 9:17 PM,
1 Comments:
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At 11:57 PM,
said...
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If only your blog was on DVR. So we can fast forward through 9/10 of it. Dude, you need to learn how to condense. Only your mother and your 2 BFFs are going to read this long-ass thing.
I just watched the show -- I don't need a play-by-play. I need a concise review. Actually, I really don't even need that. The results show doesn't call for a lot of commentary. Thanks, anyway for the unsolicited tour of your caffienated mind.