Dave White's Recap from Semifinal Round 3
Friday, March 09, 2007
Dave White's Idol recap is up!!! A few snippets:
And Sanjaya's hair got itself ironed by someone with an even more pronounced lady-fication agenda than Sanjaya himself. “He resembles Susan Saint James,” says my husband/partner/whatever. That man is always ready with the vintage cultural observations. You kids might need to go IMDB her to know who he's talking about. She played Rock Hudson's wife on a TV show back in the '70s.and
Seacrest is black-turtlenecked. Retaliating for this lack of neck, Simon is wearing a dude-décolletage top, exposing the moobs he's so fond of self-examining on live television. Paula has chosen to borrow Sanjaya's wig and to begin mummifying herself, starting with the silky thingwrapped tightly around her neck. But let's get on to the singin'.MOOOBS!!! ROFLMAO. Click through for a bit more.
Haley Scarnatoused to be a gymnast. Who is Haley Scarnato, you ask? Yeah, I don't know either. I assume she's this chick standing in front of me wearing a red halter top that was recently attacked by a steroidal BeDazzler.Heh.
Going home = Jared “Carlton” Cotter; Meadow Soprano [Antonella Barba], whose foxiness was not enough and who now has a lucrative offer from the Girls Gone Wild guy if she chooses to accept it. No lie, either. He pitched a quarter mil her way to “host” a video. Maybe he'll let her sing too; Sabrina the Pussycat Doll is gone too, and she makes the best Alien-about-to-devour-Sigourney-Weaver face of all time as she leans in for the consoling hug from lesser talent Haley Whatserface; And finally, Sundancehead. Your brows were shaped for no good reason.And finally,
And holy s**t [my edit to keep the language consistent with my site tags], Simon and Seacrest WENT TO AFRICA TO LOOK AT SOME POOR PEOPLE. We see them sitting in chairs while little kids sing to them. Afterward (in my daydreams, anyway, where everything is better), Simon says, “That was appalling. It was like we were at some stupid school in Africa and they brought out the kids to sing to us. Ghastly. I can't sell this.”
Labels: American Idol, Dave White
posted by RenaRF @ 8:37 PM,
